Just reread my last blog here. Had it all ready and set to go, yesterday. Even got here early, typed three words and the phone rang. A change of plans. That seemed to be the gist of my whole day yesterday: make a small adjustment, only to confront another change of plans. Not my doing, just life going on and throwing me small curve balls.
For instance, my counselor’s office called and said she had a cancellation and would I like to come in at two? But, I had just made another plan to wait for someone to come get something, and was unsure about what was going on with my car. So, I had to decline the offer, with regret, because I could have used an airing by that moment. As it turned out, the person who was supposed to come, never showed up. Late last night, a good friend called and we had the opportunity to talk for some time. I did get my airing, just not in the actual manner I had thought was necessary.
I really like the course my doodling has taken. I can pick up my sketchbook and do an image in what feels like minutes. It is satisfying. However, I started an image two days ago, got interrupted and didn’t get back to it until yesterday. When, of course, I was once again interrupted. This image is really a bit different and seems to be coming together in layers. It still isn’t finished, but I am intrigued by what is happening. And I have taken the time to keep a record of each layer as it develops. Apparently my morphing is morphing again.
Oh, there’s more. Because my early morning plan had been altered, I decided to cook lunch here while other things were going on. Got it all ready, only to find out that my brother had brought lunch for my Mom and I didn’t have to go over there until supper time. That just means that I have today’s lunch all ready to heat and serve. Almost sounds like a set-up, or a plan, doesn’t it?
My original plan was to get on the computer and write a blog here, off the top of my head. Like I said, that got changed after the first three words. But, I had been playing around with a poem in the preceding days, so went to that, cleaned it up and posted it on another site. Not what I had planned to do, but that gave me more time to think about what I really wanted to write about here, and as you can see, it also gave me the subject for this blog as well, lol. Love it when a plan, that isn’t a plan, comes together.
There is an old saying, “When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.” I think I made enough lemonade yesterday to whet the whistles for an entire choir and all its attendant musicians. Have even had a passing thought that I should get a bottle of Amaretto and make another batch of slush (another kind of lemonade?). If I do, you are all invited.
When I wrote that last blog, I was aware that life is very seldom a smooth working plan and that, at best, one must make adjustments and even some compromises, or end up frustrated and fighting self and what seems like the rest of the world. I just didn’t think it would happen all in the same day. Yet, this morning as I wrote about all of it in my journal, I couldn’t help but see that with each adjustment, each change in the plans, I was also given time and space to do other things and actually accomplished a great deal that I wouldn’t have under other circumstances.
I was able to clean up some of my house, finish a poem that might have gone wanting, gain some distance from present moment frustrations, allow my doodling to once again morph into something new and even exciting, not have to worry about fixing lunch today, and clear out this morning so that I could easily follow through on that original plan and its consequences. Altogether, not a bad day and certainly not one that got busted because of personal angst.
Furthermore, last night, I finally finished reading a book that has been bothering me for a week. It was a difficult read, a story about a major disaster that disrupted untold lives, destroying others completely, and overwhelming many of the characters by demanding the type of courage we all hope we are never forced to face, or be in need of.
Although the plot is fiction, the background is a real occurrence that took place only a few years ago, a very real, life-altering disaster. It was hard to read and I did it in increments, small ones. I really like this author and wanted to see where he would take it. I wasn’t disappointed. He made a lot of hard lemonade. He left his readers with some hope, even in what he saw as a hopeless situation.
Yesterday was a learning experience. We can only live one moment at a time, and we tend to frustrate ourselves when those moments don’t go as planned. A journal can be a place to make those plans, but it can also become a new recipe for lemonade. That is a choice we can continually give to our own person and, in that process, give ourselves hope and a willingness to continue into the next moment.
Would anyone like some lemonade?
Some lemonade for me, please. 🙂 My weight loss plans are a struggle already, so I might as well…
You mentioned reading difficult books in an earlier blog post; do you intersperse them between easier books? I was reading a difficult novel recently (for me it was difficult because of its world view), but it was affecting my mood at a time when I needed to feel more positive. I stopped the book and reached for something more entertaining (though educative in its own way). Perhaps at another time I would have waded on with it, but I don’t know… probably it would always have affected me badly.
The Crystal Lite Lemonade is great and has no calories. Standard liquid equipment here, lol.
And yes, I do intersperse them. And just like you, I put some away for later (maybe even years), or just wade through them to see if there might be some sort of resolution included. Many times they just leave me hanging with my own thoughts, which means they appear in my journal writing, if no where else.