Dear Beth,
I have been negligent. I forget that you are just a kid and need to be encouraged and supported. I take for granted that you will do your thing, explore your world, create beautiful things that sometimes take my breath away, stop and stare into a puddle mesmerized by the reflections you find there, sing the same two lines from an old old song for long long minutes, or simply need to move, to find, to look, to discover for yourself what is around the next corner.
You are an absolute delight and I forget to tell you that. I’m sorry. I get so wrapped up in all the adult things, that I forget to look at them through your eyes which are fresh and new and sometimes so much wiser than my own. You are a gift and I forget to unwrap you at moments. Let you out to breathe and tell me what you are seeing and knowing.
We both know that I can be impatient at times. Not so much with you as with the circumstances that don’t allow me to let you freely explore this world that is wrapped around both of us. I love to hear the sound of your laughter, your giggles, and that simple gasp of awe that escapes your lips when the colors you play with come together in surprising ways that delight and entrance you.
Over the past few weeks, I have caught a glimpse of a bald eagle soaring through my small patch of sky. You keep pointing him out to me, but I have failed to realize why. He is the symbol of all that is spirit, therefore a symbol of you. A message I was in danger of missing altogether. Thank you for your persistence and ongoing patience with this old woman. It must be difficult, at moments, to be trapped inside of her when you would prefer to run and skip and jump and dance.
Even more so, thank you for last night. For that whim to go looking for what you needed and for finding it. That alone altered so much. Opened new doors, new possibilities, and showed me new unwinding paths for the two of us to travel down. And we will walk down them together, your hand in mine, your eyes showing me all those details I might otherwise miss. I need you and what you bring into my reality.
Especially now with all these changes and new responsibilities and obligations. They get so heavy at times, and I feel weighted down and discouraged, thinking that it will never end and will go on forever. You remind me that we only have but this one present moment. Why waste it with all those negative thoughts, when we could be exploring so many other things? Thank you for sharing your joy and pleasure so readily and unselfishly. That alone is a treasure that is priceless.
Can I tell you a secret? I get sad when I see so many people who don’t know there is a you inside of them. They get so full of being an adult, doing adult things, that they don’t ever play. And playing is such an important type of work. We learn so much faster and easier when we play. And there is always so much more to learn, to be, to become.
In a very real way, you are my secret weapon. Your simple delight in getting up each day marks that chore with an eagerness I find it hard to explain to others. They look at me and see an old woman, but we know differently don’t we? We have an entire world that needs to be explored and we only have this one life to do that in. Thank you so much for reminding me of that reality.
It is so easy to forget. Get so busy in things and other people, that you get lost in all the shuffling. I’m glad you are strong and wise enough to just keep coming back and reminding me. It might take longer on some occasions, but eventually I hear you calling me and respond. And I can count on you to never let me truly forget how much I owe to you and will continue to need your presence.
You have made this present task so simple and easy. And I look forward to much more. Maybe you could spend some time thinking about how to wake up all those other inner children that have maybe fallen asleep due to adult lives that are thought to be too busy, too full, to give you the time and space that you need. Yes, you do understand and know that I am thinking of a specific individual, as well as others.
Maybe we could have a wake-up party. What better time than now when spring is struggling to come into full bloom? Think of all the fun we could have, playing silly games, singing silly songs, and watching all those sleepy-eyed inner children awaken. Whew! That’s quite an image. There’s a parking lot out there full of puddles. Don’t forget your yellow rain slicker and red boots. We have some stomping to do.
Thank you most of all for being you. For single-handedly lifting my spirits this morning, and every other morning. Like I said, you are my own private treasure and secret weapon. It’s raining again, and that means a different kind of fun. Shall we go explore? I can’t wait.
Hugs and love,
Elizabeth
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