I haven’t been here for a few days. It got a bit heavy and now it’s just plain hectic. The heaviness happened because I was worrying about things that I have no control over. Why do we do that? I think it’s because we have a strong desire, sometimes need, to act on the things that concern us. When they are outside of our control sphere, we worry about them instead because that gives us a sense of doing something about it. We are searching for a solution. Even though, somewhere inside of us, we know there is no way we are going to find one. That’s what it means when its outside of our control.
I did what I could. I wrote about it and that dissipated the heaviness and allowed me to do other things. One of the best reasons for keeping a journal, I think. Leaving all the garbage on the page and walking away freer and lighter in the process. It’s also one of the most basic reasons for not allowing others to peruse those pages. Do you really want someone else nosing through your garbage? Bringing up to the surface all that stuff that rightfully belongs at the bottom of the bag, rightfully buried along with the smell?
Am I saying that what goes in a journal is garbage, of no further value except as landfill? Yes and no. The value is in being able to sort it out, allowing the self to discern what is important from what is totally outside ones sphere of control or in ones best interests.
Clearing the ground where one lives is an essential for a better and smoother existence. Not only that, but clearing the ground is the first step in building whatever is to be created. And that’s not small potatoes, seeing as we are creating ourselves.
I could have skipped the page yesterday. Certainly felt like doing that. Didn’t and it changed whatever followed. That might have happened eventually, anyway, but not in that small amount of time. I could have gone on worrying for days. It’s so easy to do.
Instead, I am free and clear to do what needs to be done today. That’s a really good feeling. And it also raises my spirits and my outlook for this moment and even the next. As I said at the beginning of this post, today is hectic, so I intend to be brief.
Hope you have a good Tuesday and also do some sorting. Clarissa Pinkola Estes says that sorting this from that is one of the important tasks of building ones intuition. Think about that for a moment. Intuition is essential in the process of self-preservation. If you need them today, will your hands be ready? Or will they be filled with yesterday’s garbage? Yuck.