In response to Claudette’s Writing Challenge #5: Fortune
51. I live my life by following the signs and symbols that surround me. In other words, I live my life directed by my Intuition.
That was supposed to be #42 on my list, but I conveniently side-stepped it altogether, deciding instead to add a few negatives to my list for the sake of balance. Sort of a logical decision, don’t you think? Except when you immediately become aware that there was no element of logic in the decision making process. What motivated the change in subject matter was just plain old fear, discomfort in the comfort zone, dis-ease at writing down such a blatant and telling statement.
I’ve said it before, and to hundreds of people (I was a teacher), so why the fuss here and now? Because this is different and also entails honesty and commitment. I have no idea how anyone will react to that statement. Will I automatically be dismissed for saying it? I live in a world that prizes logic and logical thinking, yet here I am saying that I choose to see things differently and order my existence through that different perspective.
Logic doesn’t dismiss intuition, that would be illogical. However, much of the time, logic has a tendency to put quotation marks around that kind of thinking, sort of admiring it from a distance, but still retaining the prerogative of dismissal should it prove less than concrete. And it does prove that a great deal of the time. Intuition is based in a knowing that doesn’t always have supportive evidence for its conclusions or suggestions. It simply is.
Intuition is based on sensory input, sometimes feelings, and logic doesn’t put a great deal of trust in feelings. They are subjective, not objective and thus, not logical. Feelings are not facts, therefore lend little support to any argument. So, saying that I live by the dictates of my intuition means I, therefore my opinion, might and could easily be dismissed. That means I could possibly go unheard.
So why am I bringing all of this up? Because I realized that I had side-stepped #42. By doing that, I was being less than honest and cheating myself out of other possibilities. I prize my intuitive abilities, right along with my logic skills. It doesn’t make any difference if others recognize them or even acknowledge them. Yet, it does, because I know that others sometimes see and define intuitive knowing right up there with fortune-telling. That makes it suspect, somehow not quite on the up and up, maybe even a bit of a scam.
In The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker writes about one of the most primary needs for intuition in the human experience, that of self-protection against the threat of violence. He gives copious examples of how it works and why it is necessary for the individual to listen to that small inner voice that alerts one to danger. But that is only one need and use of intuition, albeit, an extremely important one.
In writing about how one must be alert to whatever opportunities might arise to propel one toward ones dream, I am speaking directly to another use of intuition. Listening to that still small voice can allow one to make choices and decisions based in the reality of ones own experiences and daily existence. No one can possibly know all of that except the individual. It is all stored inside of us, each and every moment.
That knowing of each moment results in those nudges we sense and feel about certain things and people. And although I am using that knowing to direct my personal choices, it is still one and the same as De Becker’s gift of fear. If intuition is a gift meant to enhance self-preservation, then doesn’t it stand to reason that we must use it to make the choices that will allow us the best life possible into whatever future we have? Oh, oh, we might be bumping up against that fortune-telling subject again.
This week, I have been bumping up against a decision, a choice about how I want to proceed into my future. My intuition has kicked into high gear, and although I would really like to dismiss it, I can’t. The logic side of my brain is yakking about how much more time and energy this choice would entail. Am I really prepared to do that and make that commitment? My intuitive knowing says there is always a risk in moving through a threshold experience. I won’t know the answers until I make the movement. And round and round they go until I am just plain confused and exhausted.
There is no denying that the synchronicity has been high level through all of this. Synchronicity is an aspect of intuition. It is the intuitive energy that points out all the connective links. And it is definitely pointing in a very specific direction. Dare I ignore that and possibly invite harm to my own person and progress? What did I just say about the gift of fear? But dis-ease and discomfort are not good reasons for doing anything, are they? Yet, they are the very reasons this blog is being written.
Am I a fortune-teller? No. I am simply an individual exploring the paths opening in front of me, and whatever possibilities they might unveil to me. The final choice, decision still lies in front of me. I’m still gathering information. Which means we are still on the drawing board. That in turn means I am back to my journal and some more noodling. Wish me luck, or at least clear sailing?