The In-Betweens

 

This is a difficult time of the year. Christmas is behind us, New Year’s is still coming, and we are caught between them. All the gearing up for the Big Day, needs to find its natural release, and feels a lot like letting down. All the color and excitement is over and it’s time to make plans again. I doubt I am the only one feeling the blahs as a result. Those in-between spaces and places that very quickly go gray in comparison to music, laughter, get togethers, surprises, gifts, and what not. It all goes by so quickly and we are left feeling just a bit bereft because its over and behind us already.

Do I have a solution? Nothing other than that we are all in the same boat. The fact that this lull is a natural one, might not satisfy, but it does make sense. There is a balance in all things. Even in the ongoing rhythms of our daily experience. All that anticipation must find a balance in the reality of the few small, or maybe major disappointments. Many of us had to change plans because of the weather, or cancel whatever plans we had made. Making such adjustments might be easy for some, but for the majority of us, it leaves an aftermath.

We are facing a New Year with all of its inherent expectations, or maybe none. We want it to be different, better, but what would make it so? Is there something we can do to bring that possibility into a clearer focus? What one thing would you personally like to see happen in this coming year? If you are like me, that thought might draw a blank, maybe a few fleeting ideas, but nothing with any real focus. And yet, there are some things that I would like to see happen in my small little piece of the world.

I would like to see more acceptance, more understanding, less strife and tension. A whole lot less anger and dissatisfaction. So, as usual, it must begin  with me. Are there people in my life who need more of that? Most certainly. I can think of several. Can I offer them a bit more tolerance and a lot less judgment? Specifics? Oh, that sounds like real thought and work. But, if this is truly what I want, than it is what I must begin to give. Starting right now and in this moment. It’s called seed faith.

Nothing grows in the in-betweens. It’s a blank gray space. But, I am here, inside of it. I am alive, breathing and therefore, hopefully, growing. It’s hard to think in this place. The thoughts are there, but moving like fog and just as wispy. Hard to hang onto. Where was I? Oh yes, seed faith. Giving what you hope to receive. Sounds a bit selfish, doesn’t it? Maybe even a bit more than just a bit? Maybe a lot?

Well, it is, but it isn’t. Make up your mind. Well, I’m trying to but I’m stuck here in this in-between place, and it’s very difficult to concentrate. So, seed faith? Is it selfish or not? Well, it might start out that way, but it changes as soon as one engages in it. The action of seed faith is giving out of your need. And giving isn’t selfish, at least it’s not supposed to be. Seed faith doesn’t work if you give expecting that other person, the recipient of your gift, to give back. You give with hope, nothing more. And that makes it far less selfish because it changes the emphasis. It becomes more important to give than to receive.

So, if I want acceptance and understanding, I need to give those things to the people around me. Whew! I think the fog has lifted a bit, I can now see a bit of sunshine in the offing. There’s more to this though, isn’t there? There is that balance thing to consider. When I give, I empty my own hands. And empty hands are capable of receiving. If I’m stingy with acceptance and understanding, hanging onto them because I think this person, or that one, might not be deserving, than I am actually filling my hands with judgment and they can’t receive anything if they are busy clasping the heavy hard edges of that commodity.

So, I have to let go of the judgment and just give. I think I’m beginning to see what this entails. I have to make sure my hands are empty before the giving can be anything but selfish. Then, and only then, is the giving true giving and with it, comes the end of the land of in-betweens. No more gray fog and wispy thoughts. And the specifics will work themselves out as I move through this day and into the next one. Instead of all that grayness, I now have purpose and clear focus.

Each person I meet must be seen through that focus. What bit of acceptance and understanding do I need to give this individual? By doing that, focusing outside myself, I actually move me outside of the land of in-betweens. It wasn’t at all comfortable and I’m glad to be leaving it. I much prefer the sunshine and all that can be clearly seen and experienced within it.

Hope you have a good day and many more in this coming year.

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